Present flow chart — Your children...

Do they need to move out of your house,

and learn to do their own washing?

Did you breed like rabbits and you just can't afford to get something good for all of them?

Have they started breeding?

Do they need the hint that you want grandchildren?

Do they need some reassurance?

Do their parenting skills need a hand?

Do you mostly love them, but you just can't help yourself from telling them about all their irritating little faults? After all if you can't tell them who can...

Are you sick of hearing about how tough their childhood was...

Are they heading off on their big OE (Overseas Experience for those non-Kiwis)

Are you just cheap and lazy and can't be bothered shopping?

Not right? Try, try again... Back to the beginning!