"They Took Me To Their Planet"
And then they brought him back again! (Ed: they must have kept their receipt.)
Divided into two books entitled The Book Which Tells the Truth (a completely different book from the one where they fibbed a lot maybe?), and Extra-Terrestrials Took Me to Their Planet, this has to be without a doubt one of the most intriguing interpretations of the Bible ever published.
At what point did an executive at Michael O'Mara Books Ltd say, "let's take lots of famous quotes and insert the word PANTS into them, 'cos that will be really funny.
Pee-your-PANTS funny. And who could resist that. It'll be a runaway bestseller"?
"Should auld PANTS be forgot,
And never brought tae mind…"
"All this and PANTS too"
"Is the moon a hollowed-out spaceship sent to orbit our earth in the remote prehistoric past? Was it once inhabited by alien space travellers?"
The title page says it all, really. The author follows the article written by "two leading Soviet scientists", Mikhail Vasin and Alexander Shcherbakov, entitled "Is the Moon a Creation of Intelligence?" published in Sputnik magazine in the early 70s. They claim that the Moon is a spaceship constructed by aliens who journeyed here eons ago.
They don't say why.
The Big Folks' Meal is done, the Pantry closed;
They'll get no more till Cook feels so disposed.
But still a Bone lies buried 'neath the Vines
For me, quite succulent though decomposed."
Take a classic epic poem, known and loved the world over.
Add a small hairy dog.
Re-write the poem, centering it on a first person narrative from the dog's point of view.
Find a publisher who shares your vision.
Body image is a serious topic in the current climate of mass media propaganda, obesity epidemics, and eating disorders, and there are some amazing books on the subject:
The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf
Fabulous Figures by Rachel Swift
Where the Girls Are by Susan J Douglas
Reviving Ophelia by Mary Piper
The Body Snatches by Cyndi Tebble
This is not one of them.