ARTY BEES BOOKS NEWSLETTER

22 February 2005

Well, here we are again, a New Year and a new newsletter, crammed full of strange, witty (?) informative and irrelevant information, and habitually late as usual. Brought to you by me — Robynne, a.k.a. The Big Giant Head.
(Joking aside I thought I'd better write this newsletter as Jessica has been planning a cricket-themed one and nobody deserves that. Sorry, Jess, but you know it's true.)

So, what have we been doing since last we posted?

Our beloved leader, Roberty-Bob (RTB) is completely back on his feet after his stroke in mid September and as always surprises us all with his youthful vigour and good humour. He has no plans to take an active part in the business anymore, though we luckily still have the benefit of his wealth of experience and good advice. Also, Pippa seems to have settled into his shoes with her natural aplomb and only a few more grey hairs, and is doing a fabulous job as usual.

We had Christmas of course, which is always a crazy time of year for the retail community; at least we always hope so.
The real highlight for us though is generally the annual "Buying Holiday" where we actually stop buying for all of 2-3 weeks over the Christmas period.

This sounds like a small thing, but as they say in that seasonal heavenly pop hit, (made popular again by the very funny film "Love Actually") …
"All We Want For Christmas… …Is for the Books to Stop Coming In So We Can Catch Up!"

In fact, I do believe that we once (maybe twice?) completely emptied the pricing alcove at Arty Bee's. And there was carpet! Who knew! (We took a photo to preserve it for posterity) Of course ten minutes later someone came in with a box of books to sell…
So as you can see, nothing brings a smile to the dear little grubby faces of my darling underlings, like the prospect of putting up that sign.
And we get to do it all over again for stocktake in March!
(I'm trying to muster a little enthusiasm for the event, but counting all the books tends to make the guys a little grumbly.)

--- On that note, if you are planning to divest yourself of some dearly loved but no longer needed volumes, we will probably be out of commission from roughly the 7th March till 4th April ish, confirmation pending. ---

Anyway back to Christmas; all of us at Arty & Bizy Bee's hope you had a joyful and non-stressful holiday period with one or two well-deserved and thoughtful gifts from those who love you.

I got a large velvet hat from my Secret Santa at work. With a foot long, red, yellow and black kiwiana Buzzy Bee on it.
It's lovely.
No, really it is, and it doesn't even scare my cat anymore. She likes sleeping on the top of the wardrobe.
Fabulous.
Great in fact!
For starters I will never again have to worry about visibility in heavy traffic.
Of course, drivers with apiophobia * (or in fact any basic fashion sense) may still run me over out of fear and an overriding feeling of public responsibility, but who could foresee that little hiccup.
And what's more, it fits perfectly on the large yellow papier-mâché "Big Giant Head" I got last year… Thanks Guys!
The gift that just keeps on giving. (Mostly it gives me the evil eye from the corner of the room but who's complaining.)

(I would just like to say that for those of you who remember my upcoming birthday ** in March, an absence of all things bee themed or colossally challenged head related articles would be appreciated. (Can you say "chocolate"… ?))

Other presents of note from this year's Secret Santa Seasonal Bounty in the Arty Bee's universe included, calendars from 1942, elderberry cordial, gardener's hand cream, a herbal eye-mask, and one pair of pink fluffy handcuffs. Don't ask.

We have processed more than half of the books from Crossroads (which only leaves us with about 150 boxes in our back room) and have had great dolloping amounts of other yummy stock come in as well. On a good day with no other calamities, we generally manage to get at least 3-4 boxes of all sorts of books out into the shelves so, don't give up if you can't find what you're looking for, it's bound to turn up sooner or later. And don't forget we run a pretty good "Wants List" service, and will do our best to watch for things for you. It's not automated, other than our brains and a very good database, but we do quite well, so give it a go sometime.

Arty Bee's is full again, and I will personally buy a giant chocolate bar for any customer who can come up with a practical (and cheap) plan for fitting in more bookshelves. The criteria for this challenge includes; earthquake safe positions, (none over the archways, they're our only bolt-holes) no blocking of the passage ways, no citing Pratchett's Law of L-space***, and no shelving over 9 foot high. (All the staff are vertically challenged, and a five foot, two inch person on a three foot ladder should still be able to reach.) Don't laugh, we can't help it.

And on the subject of laughing at hapless staff members, we are about to have some fresh meat to torture, a lovely young man named Hamish. He is not only quite tall (hell, he's taller than me anyway), good looking, charming, and talented, he also has several years experience at Unity Books (from around the corner in Willis St,) and we have been trying to poach him for a while now.
Like an egg, in fact.

Which is really just a pathetic and shameless attempt at lining up the next topic of conversation.

Ah! Easter.
Two extra days off work, bunnies and chocolate eggs, lambs and spring flowers, (well not down here, but what can you do?) Klingons politely discussing the possible outcome of a Buffy, Blade grudge match **** and W.A.R.G.S. roaming the streets without collars or any sort of appropriate licenses.You know who you are…

That's right, it's time for the Annual National Science Fiction Convention again, and it's in Wellington.
ICON is being held at the West Plaza over Easter Weekend (25th til 28th March) and promises to be a fun filled event of frivolity, filking and furries. (The less said the better really…)

The Convention to Ender all Conventions in fact! (I am soooo sorry - I just couldn't resist it. Bad pun, bad bad pun! )

Anyway, the special guest is the fabulous Orson Scott Card, author of the Ender's series, The Tales of Alvin Maker, and the Homecoming Saga, a world class writer, and is also a very talented writing course instructor.
This fabulous fact is not at all irrelevant, as he is also running a three day writing seminar in the week before the Con. And for a very modest price you could sign up for this literary event.

As well as an exclusive supervised outing to Bizy Bee's for ICON guests, we will also be hosting an event on the Sunday night (mostly because Lynelle wants everyone out of her hair, while they are setting up the banquet). At this time we don't exactly know what we will be doing with these fine folk but it may involve a trivial pursuit treasure hunt. Or blow darts and a large collection of strong netting hung precariously from the ceiling. We haven't decided yet…as soon as we decide, we might tell you. But probably not.

So to find out more about this Spectacular Event and/or the Writing Seminar visit the ICON Website at;
www.icon.sf.org.nz or drop by Bizy Bee's for the brochures.
We can almost guarantee it'll be more fun than staying home and playing "spot the toupee" on TV, which, let's face it, is quite fun. (And scarily mesmerizing!)

Lastly, on the subject of SF, we have a dozen fairly rare 1st edition SF Classics including, Arthur C. Clarke, Anne McCaffrey and Harry Harrison and they are going fast. Check out our Abebooks catalogue at this address if you're interested.

Have a safe month and remember, don't make fun of Trekkies. *****
Robynne

* Apiophobia is a fear of Bees (which pretty much concludes any educational matter in this months newsletter.) Back

** Who said you're getting a birthday present! (Bern) Back

*** "Knowledge = Power = Energy = Matter = Mass. i.e. a good bookshop or library is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read. Mass distorts space into polyfractal L-space, in which Everywhere is also Everywhere Else. All libraries are connected in L-space by the bookwormholes created by the strong space-time distortions found in any very large collection of books."
The Discworld Companion, by Terry Pratchett & Stephen Briggs. Back

**** I would just like to say to the very intense young man who started this conversation with me last year at Bizy Bee's, that I was just being polite, because frankly, you scared me!
I have not, as you obviously have, lain awake at night worrying about this outcome.
That being said, Buffy would totally kick Blade's butt. Narna narna na na! Back

***** Unless they're Kirk fans. Back

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