Look at a road map of New Zealand and you can't fail to notice State Highway 1, zigzagging the full length of the two main islands like a crazy zipper down a shapely thigh-length boot. Like a down-under Route 66 or M1, State Highway 1 is the nation's mother road, a physical and cultural nerve column that runs through the biggest cities and smallest hamlets. To Bob Moore, a Pom-turned- Kiwi, it all added up to a road trip from a tourist's wildest dream. So, he fuelled up his Toyota Starlet and set out to do 'the one thing' above all others you should do at every stop on this long and picturesque highway, from sailing and caving to cheese-tasting and welly-boot throwing. And after reading his hilarious and ribald write-up, you may just want to do likewise.